a plea for help

This is one of those wierd last-ditch-efforts that one resorts to when a google dead-end is hit. I am sure that most people know about our son Jackson and his diagnosis of autism. (if you don't...surprise!) Lately, I have been doing more research than normal since I have a bit of free time away from school. I am becoming increasingly more interested in a movement that basically describes autism as a neuro-immune disorder. I went to a lecture tonight by Dr. Michael J. Goldberg and it peaked my interest even further. For the first time, things clicked for me. This is a man who does medical, SCIENTIFIC-BASED research and has had amazing results.

There are things about the various "popular" and celebrity-endorsed protocols that never felt quite right. Supplements, diets, shots, hyperbarric treatments, and heavy metal detox. It is a little hard to swallow sometimes. Yet, as a parent, you are made to feel like your instincts are dumb. I really try not to judge anyone going through this because I do think that every family needs to decide for themselves what they are comfortable with and believe in. There just can't be a one-size-fits-all.

No one wanted to listen when I told them that my son was vomiting for not reason and it was like he had a concusion. I tried to explain that he did not seem to have pain, just confusion. The look on his face during these episodes were strange. Instincts said..."head trauma. Just like an athlete would behave". Further confirmed because he always wanted to eat afterwards.

Things just never come out the way I want to describe. It is just a "feeling". I realize I sound a bit wacko.

Anyway, (rambling now cause it's late...sorry) my plea is this: If you are reading this and have any ideas about, research on, or experience with things like neuroSPECT scans, the XMRV retrovirus or use of SSRI's in autistic children, please let me know.

I just wanted to throw that out to the universe. What can I say, I want a cure just like every other mom out there!

Coming Soon...

Well, it is official. My family is opening a sports bar in North Spokane. Birdy's Sports Bar will have it's Grand Opening Celebration on Saturday, March 20th and I hope to see lots of friendly faces there. Check out the website for more information and to see updated pictures later this weekend. www.birdyssportsbar.com

Needless to say, we are all very excited and proud. And, in case you don't know...we are pretty much the coolest family ever. (seriously) I love my family more than I could ever express and am so proud of us for supporting this new venture using our many hidden talents. (which are secret)

At least come in for a beer, meet the owner and compliment him on the beautiful bar that he built with his own two hands. Then you can walk back and talk to the co-owner and tell her how delicious her "Nacho Girlfriends" are. We have been trying to support local businesses as much as possible during construction and hope you will support us as well.

Cheers!

a little reminder...

a lovely woman, and dear family friend sent out something in their Christmas cards that I think is worth passing along...

It seems that everyone is busy and everyone likes to feel even busier by talking about it...we want to encourage you this christmas to step out of the traffic and take a deep breath. Offer a prayer of thanksgiving for those you love, the blessings you have received, and the hope that Jesus brings in this christmas season. drink a cup of hot tea in front of the Christmas tree; listen to a Christmas carol all the way through; read the wonder of the Savior's birth in Luke 2; call an old friend; watch the fire burn in the fireplace; be quiet, be still.
The real miracle of Christmas is that God Himself came to be among us. Take a moment to consider what difference that really makes in your life...let the busy take care of itself; it will still be there tomorrow.

O little town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie...

now, this whole concept of being still is something that i need to work on. but, i definately think that a real reminder to savor the season and celebrate in the real miracle of Christmas is the simplest thing i can do today.

i hope you get time to do the same...enjoy the season!

yesterday morning i took jackson out for our normal tuesday routine which includes speech therapy at 9am. in the waiting room, i was chatting with a gal who i see every week but never talk to. anyway, her adorable daughter comes up to me, grabs onto my knees and just stares up with the biggest smile you have ever seen. to which, i reply "hey there cutie". her mom apologizes, which i nod off and we start talking. she asks how old jackson is (2 1/2) and if i have any other kids (liam, of course), and if i work (tell her i am in grad school). she then says, in sincerity, "wow, you really have your hands full".

this leads me to my point. this mom, in her late thirties probably, notes how busy life must be for me.

i have to say, i was a little taken back because (did i forget to mention) that her 3 and 4 year old daughters both have down syndrome? i felt like an idiot.

big idiot.

she had no way of knowing that i have been feeling a little sorry for myself lately in dealing with jackson, school and stress in general. and the rest of our conversation centered about all sorts of funny stories about the kids, new therapies/diets, and just normal life stuff. it was great. she had no way of knowing that her small comment would really effect me.

see, sometimes we play the comparison game in life (my truck is better than yours, her boobs are perkier than mine, etc.) you might think that someones situation seems impossible to you. and to keep things in perspective we say "it could always be worse". and that is all true. however, life is hard sometimes and no matter what your life is like, give yourself time to feel bad and then move on.

this is especially true for parenting. nothing irks me more than when parents try to play the comparison game with their children to "one up " the other. parenting is hard work (duh). have a little respect and know that a tired and stressed out parent is sometimes a good parent because they are putting every last bit of effort into their kids.

............lost my focus here, sorry..............

the moral of the story is, that somedays are better than others and no matter what anyone says...give yourself a chance to feel your life and then move on if you are heading down a debbie-downer path.

does that make sense?

awesome. now turn that frown upside down, and go have a shot of whisky. (kidding)

thank you!

i have to give a great shout out to my dear friend Meghan...she updated my sorry blog and I think she did a GREAT job. thank you so so much meg, you are wonderful and so appreciated!

so excited...

this weekend my mom and i are doing another craft fair! Mead High School on Saturday and Sunday. I am so excited because we have been working on getting together some new adorable things. including, these clips (which I know is wierd since I made them...but i love) for only $8 including a matching headband



we also have a few more cute totes like this one ($25)



and just to let you know it's not all business, here is a pic from Liam yesterday while we were putting out christmas lights. i know it seems a little early, but i am so thankful we did them before it was too cold! it was a great family bonding experience.



so.........come see us this weekend, we love visitors!

help wanted...

i am in need of a blog makeover. but, i am not really good at it nor do i have any time. would someone like to volunteer? you would have complete control. (which is kind of scary for me)

Not to brag, but...

Today has been one of those days you dream about...

I got a full nights sleep because my wonderful husband slept with Jackson to keep him down through the night,

Everyone had a tasty breakfast at the kitchen table (at the same time),

The Sunday paper was actually interesting to read,

We worked together to do some household chores (the boys helped sweep and vacuum),

So far, naps are actually happening and going well (at the same time),

And, no major meltdowns or tantrums from either boy!

Seriously though, it is all kind of amazing. Maybe it is because of the unusually sound sleep I got but I feel really thankful today. Being a parent is not the most glamorous job most days. But, I think it is easy to forget what a gift it is. I mean, I have friends who have a hard time getting pregnant, staying pregnant, being pregnant or all three. It is easy to forget that even if my day seems to be going slower than the year, my boys really are a miracle.

I love being a mom, and if you tried to take away my sleepless nights, doctors visits, spit up stained shirts, minivan, diapers, toys that I constantly trip on, cheerio embedded carpet or Phil & Ted stroller...I would be really mad.

Plus, I really love my stroller.

In short, I want to thank my uterus for making my title as mom possible.

{love you boys!}

so much has happened...

I have been thinking about what to write in this blog for a long time...so much has happened to our little family

For starters, Liam turned one! We had a big celebration with all our friends that just happened to include a big bouncy castle. It was so much fun, I highly recommend it! It was a crazy year since Liam was born and we just wanted to have a full day of fun with the kids. It was perfect and definately gave us some playtime that we all needed!

Just before that, we moved! We found a lovely family to rent our home so that we could move in with my parents. It was a very quick decision that has turned out to be an even bigger blessing than anyone had initially intended. Words cannot describe the sense of calm that has come over everyone that has been a wonderful effect of having extra help. This leads us to the big news that happened just a few weeks ago...Jackson being diagnoised with autism.

For about the past year and a half, we have been trying to put everything together with Jack. Autism just happens to be it. He has been going to therapies at least 3 days a week during that period for what we thought were just "developmental delays" in the hopes that he would catch up and be "normal". Well, it wasn't quite that simple. Luckliy, we have a wonderful team a pediatricians here in town who recommended we take a visit to Seattle Children's Hospital last spring. They got an initial baseline of Jack's behaviors so when we went in September they were able to track his progress as well as administer a standardized test. In our case, it was the ADOS which is fairly common in areas around UW.

Very long story short...there was some confusion about autism and all that it meant for us. But we learned something simple that i hope will help; there are three main developmental areas that they look for in order to classify.

Social Interaction
Communication and Speech
Odd or Unusual Behaviors

Here's the cheat sheet...if you have delays in social interaction and odd or unusual behaviors, you would be classified as having "asperger's syndrome". If you have delays in communication as well as either social interaction or unusual behaviors, you would be classified as being having "autism spectrum disorder". If you have delays in all three areas, you would be classified as "autistic". Does that help?? In our case, Jackson has delays in all three areas. It gets really confusing for people when you also note it is possible to have "autistic tendencies". It's a big umbrella.

I know that people have strong opinions on whether or not to "label" their kids. For us, it was a little adjustment but then we realized that the only thing that changed is that it is much easier to get the services for Jack that he needs. It's a lot to digest at first, but all ending up good.

I would encourage anyone with concerns with the development with their kids to keep searching for answers when you know in your heart that something is wrong. Just as in our case, once you push throught the uncomfortable stuff, the support and help you can get is a tremendous help. On the days I feel like I am going to lose my mind if I have to see another doctor, I lean on my support system and humbily remind myself how much worse it could truly be. I get a reminder everyday we sit in the waiting rooms of hospitals, clinics, and therapists. Besides, Autism does not define Jackson. He is just the same adorable little guy that I have gotten to know over the last 2 1/2 years. Love him to death! LOL

If anyone wants or needs more information start at www.autismspeaks.org. It is a great source that I refer to often. They even sent me an awesome "first 100 days kit" that is perfect for families needing support or some guidance.

Lastly (sorry I ramble), I have to thank my parents and wonderful husband for all their support. Moving in together was a great decision that works for us, and I could never express what having laundry done or dinner made by my mom has meant for me and my stress level...love you!

Cupcake Couture has the first event of the season...take a look at the blog!